I have more to say, but I lost interest.

[sparklebutch]

I post this with fear for wankery, but I decided to post it anyway, because some things are better said than not.


So recently someone got trashed because people bitched about her use of BDSM in fic. Regardless of that specific fic, I have several things to say, which I thought everyone knew but obviously there are people who learn Everything They Know About BDSM from fluffy fic, meaning, they know shit (but not, you know, scat. Nevermind that).

First of all. BDSM does NOT always include sex. In many cases it doesn't even go there. It most certainly does not have to include orgasms for everyone involved every single time. To me, it only shows how people are affected by their own misconceptions when they read fanfic, completely disregarding other options.

Second. If there are no safewords, that's a bit daft on the part of the Top, who should be spanked for it in my opinion, but it's most definitely NOT "evil cruel torture". Torture is a huge word. If you want torture, watch a bit of news on occasion. Side note: people use certain words far too easily, like torture, rape, abuse, stalk, and various other things which are serious crimes that ruin people's lives in a way that's hard to imagine, especially if you're so quick to use them.

Third, and now we're really moving from the original subject, but did you know a LOT of what people do in BDSM is never mentioned in fic? I'm sure you did. I'm not calling for golden showers every other fandom, because really, I won't enjoy reading it, but let's face it, there's a lot of kinks (some good for me to read, some really not) that are never touched in slash. Why is that.

Fourth, I guess warnings for hardcore depend on the fandom. Partly based on canon material and how dark it is, partly based on the fanbase and how old/kinky/mature/perverted they are. Still, I think people need to be more aware of different perceptions, and not jump quite so quickly at every little thing.

Comments

[fledge.livejournal.com]

Well, true, but taken overall I imagine that kink is going to occupy a small niche in *any* fandom - unless it follows a canonically kinky show. That's all fine and dandy for them but really not the point. Some people should be taught that if you don't want to be stung by bees, you shouldn't go around poking bees' nests with sticks! Every kinky story I've ever read has been plastered with the direst warnings which (by my scale of reckoning) never live up to their promises, yet people get away with writing the sickliest pink candyfloss which makes me retch, without the slightest warning whatsoever. Not that you can't usually spot it from the first sentence, but that's beside the point. And yet I don't go around complaining about candyfloss, I merely ignore it.

Perhaps there is a psychological study here as to whether light bdsm afficionadoes have a compulsive click and read disorder..? Train wreck fascination syndrome... I think it's like lipstick lesbians. They're curious, but when they find out what's really involved, they get scared. And then feel guilty for having been curious in the first place. So they lash out. **Wonders if we could start labelling them all the 'leather and lipstick crowd'**

[sparklebutch.livejournal.com]

canonically kinky show

Well, canon did say Chase did bdsm. I think hot wax was mentioned. Can't remember for sure.

direst warnings

This one warned for bdsm. Certain people wanted warnings for torture, noncon, and general OMGNOES shit.

never live up to their promises

Yeah, I find that sad, too. I see happy warnings for various kinks, click all happily, and what I get is vanilla with an extra 'sir' put in. Oh well.

And hey, don't put down lipstick lesbians, some of them are far kinkier than the fashionable-leather crowds ;)

[fledge.livejournal.com]

Well, canon did say Chase did bdsm. I think hot wax was mentioned. Can't remember for sure.

Heee are you sure this isn't wishful thinking?

Some people just want a story's entire plot picked out in labels before they'll read. And would complain anyway. I know this because they do. A friend of mine has posted an entire separate page of warnings and disclaimers and background etc. etc. to her story, just because of the outcry to the (previously written) sequel - which WAS heavily labelled anyway - and frankly, her fic is more vanilla than most edgy scifi-fantasy on the open shelves in Borders. I sometimes wonder what these kinds of fans are doing watching SF. They'll scare themselves when they see OMGNOES MONSTERS EATING PEOPLE!!! But then I remember that they aren't following the plot anyhow, they're just drooling over the lead actors' screen time. You could put them in Teletubbies and these people wouldn't know the difference. Makes me cross >.<

All I want to know before I read a fic is whether the damn thing will make me cry. Which generally only happens if they die (permanently). And people NEVER WARN PROPERLY FOR THAT.

Actually I'm quite grateful for mpreg warnings. But as I said, the label I could most do with is for candyfloss. Ah well.

Oooh, kinky lipstick lesbians? Pray introduce me *EG*