I have more to say, but I lost interest.

[sparklebutch]

I post this with fear for wankery, but I decided to post it anyway, because some things are better said than not.


So recently someone got trashed because people bitched about her use of BDSM in fic. Regardless of that specific fic, I have several things to say, which I thought everyone knew but obviously there are people who learn Everything They Know About BDSM from fluffy fic, meaning, they know shit (but not, you know, scat. Nevermind that).

First of all. BDSM does NOT always include sex. In many cases it doesn't even go there. It most certainly does not have to include orgasms for everyone involved every single time. To me, it only shows how people are affected by their own misconceptions when they read fanfic, completely disregarding other options.

Second. If there are no safewords, that's a bit daft on the part of the Top, who should be spanked for it in my opinion, but it's most definitely NOT "evil cruel torture". Torture is a huge word. If you want torture, watch a bit of news on occasion. Side note: people use certain words far too easily, like torture, rape, abuse, stalk, and various other things which are serious crimes that ruin people's lives in a way that's hard to imagine, especially if you're so quick to use them.

Third, and now we're really moving from the original subject, but did you know a LOT of what people do in BDSM is never mentioned in fic? I'm sure you did. I'm not calling for golden showers every other fandom, because really, I won't enjoy reading it, but let's face it, there's a lot of kinks (some good for me to read, some really not) that are never touched in slash. Why is that.

Fourth, I guess warnings for hardcore depend on the fandom. Partly based on canon material and how dark it is, partly based on the fanbase and how old/kinky/mature/perverted they are. Still, I think people need to be more aware of different perceptions, and not jump quite so quickly at every little thing.

Comments

[anidada.livejournal.com]

What was it about the fic that bothered the complainant, exactly? Just the use of BDSM, or how it was portrayed, or their own ideas of what constitutes valid practice, or...?

[coneyislandbaby]

May I pass this link to some interested parties? I have things to say but am at work and must be at home to do this properly - but I do agree with you lots.

[cinder1013.livejournal.com]

I think this is coming from a misunderstanding of the meaning of the word torture as well as a misunderstanding of all of the ramifications of bdsm. Here is a link to the definition of torture. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/torture

[calime]

Frankly, I was surprised at the commenter stating such an opinion in such a..stiff-necked way. Maybe it's that I've been involved in online fandom thingy less than 2 years, or maybe it's that for example Highlander fandom is mostly already perhaps past that kind of wank, but I think it was a first for me - to see someone voicing their personal view of things like a law. Felt...weird.
I do wonder from the tone of the comment if perhaps something in the fic was a bit of a personal squick for the commenter and therefore caused such an inflexible, hard to understand, reaction??

[babydraco.livejournal.com]

People aren't always clear about what they want from fanfiction, or what they expect from authors. Non fan fic BDSM fic online doesn't help-it's often full of bizarre attitudes and wrong information (not that I have much of a clue either but sometimes things are just obvious). Sometimes people take the opposite view and become convinced that if it's kink fic, it is required to follow some formalized script- there can be no gray areas or blurring of lines.

But I think it's like a lot of other areas of fan fic and the fandom world- people are not exactly sure what they really want out of it.

Are they only in it for the cheap porn?
Or do they expect serious, dramatic and risk taking fiction?
Do they want "realistic" bdsm, or do they want fantasy?
Are they hobbyists (fandom wise), or do they want to be taken seriously as a professional writer/provider of some other fandom service?

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

Third, and now we're really moving from the original subject, but did you know a LOT of what people do in BDSM is never mentioned in fic? I'm sure you did. I'm not calling for golden showers every other fandom, because really, I won't enjoy reading it, but let's face it, there's a lot of kinks (some good for me to read, some really not) that are never touched in slash. Why is that.

I think that dominance and submission are VERY common in slash, because the power dynamics of two strong male characters is part of wht attracts us to many of these pairings. Blood play seems very common in fandoms with vampires (duh) or characters who can heal themselves. After all, it is quite a fantasy to not have to respect any of the safe and sane limits that we need to follow when playing with sharp objects around normal mortals. For some odd reason, almost every Ethan/Giles piece I've read involves blades.

Are there other kinks that are very wide-spread in particular fandoms?

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

I very rarely write BDSM for fics, because in general, the characters I write about have no connection to that realm, but when I have, I always get at least a couple responses along the lines of, wait, where's the leather, and wait, why was this BDSM?

Control situations in plainclothes qualify. Rope, chain, drawstring cord, tape, RIBBON, hell, if it can be used to bind--even loosely--it's yet another measure of control. Controlling with voice works; in fact, I've used it. It's generally harder for the sub not to be bound by anything but their own will to stay down.

And yeah, it bugs me that it's all harsh brutality, or gentle loving fluffysado....and both of these feature guys? Like, the same guys from the same fandom??

*shakes my head*

I'm with you.

[fledge.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear!

I get the impression there's a (small? large?) clique of fans whose sole purpose is to ferret around among labelled bdsm fics for those which don't meet their silk-scarves-and-fluffy-handcuffs view of the genre, just so that they can complain. It boggles me, really. Don't they have better things to do? They're like Mary Whitehouse, the (in)famous censor of early British TV.