sparklebutch

Title: Lino Dreams
Fandom: Buffy
Pairing: Giles/Xander mentioned
Prompt: linoleum, from oxoniensis' Porn Battle V
Disclaimer: Xander is very much over the legal age here.


( Xander looks at the linoleum... )

beccaelizabeth said: Google finds about 218 results for "I'm going to die a virgin". And another 42 if you spell it "gonna".


*

"I'm going to die a virgin."

Andrew says and looks up at the monster, pale. Buffy shrugs, and charges forward. Xander spares a moment to glance at the younger boy, pitying.

*

"I'm going to die a virgin."

"Xander, you had lots of sex," Spike says, "I smelled it on you."

Xander cowers behind their makeshift barricade. "Yeah, but never with you."

*

"I'm going to die a virgin."

Giles can only stare, speechless at the audacity.

"Save me from this fate?"

After a moment of sputtering, Giles finds the words. "Ethan, I saved you in that manner many times in the past. And you were no virgin when we met."

"Oh, do give us a break, Rupert. Don't you want to have one last... bang, before we go?"

"We're not going anywhere," Giles mutters, avoiding the issue and the offer.

*

"I'm going to die a virgin."

"Right now, or in general?"

Connor glares angrily at his father's blondest childe.

*


Gah, I can have a million more. They're like fun little nuggety bite-sized cookies.