I share thought process

[sparklebutch]

I'm writing the prompts, I'm writing.

I do have a problem though. Some of the ones I got from the meme, plus some of the ones I get from my usual prompts community, they all lead me in one direction. Keep picking at the same wound.

With that, I have two problems. A, just how many times can I write the same basic story obsessively before everyone is sick and tired of it, and B, well, some of the things would be perfect for happy smut, and all I get is torture and torment and lack of joy. Which would probably bring... sharper reactions in readers, maybe, but, I don't *want* to write misery.

Comments

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Okay.

[sparklebutch.livejournal.com]

I see that as a strength, not a weakness. It's your voice, your approach.

This isn't my voice; this isn't my approach. This isn't a weakness or strength, it's an unhealthy focus.

pure muse flow without inspiration (or intellectual input) can simply produce self-indulgent crap

I don't think we mean the same thing. For me, "pure muse flow" produces the best writing. Because *I* don't write, I just type, and the texts are always better. My own self-indulgent crap comes from *me*; pure muse doesn't. It just flows. It's like we mean the exact opposites.

I haven't been able to make myself clear in this post, it seems, and not just with you.

Better to do it than not, if that's the only option offered. If you can't write on your chosen terms, write on any terms you can.

This muse thing, to me, is the *best* option. It's not my chosen terms, but I don't care about my terms, because I enjoy the process in various ways, and I enjoy reading the final product. I enjoy the words.

What I do when I can't get into this state, is I try to write on my own. Like I said, many can't tell the differences in the end results. *I* can. I still write because, like you said, better than not writing at all.

When I write that sort of thing

Again, we have a miscommunication. By "stuff that makes me shudder, or makes my beta cringe", I didn't mean bad quality. I do have bad quality things, but that's not it. What I meant is angst, torture; *contents* I don't enjoy writing, that Cat doesn't enjoy reading. Specifically, at the moment, a kind of dark writing that is related to one or two events in Buffy (that I won't share here with you, of course).

The prompts, and my mood, lead me to write about it (self-indulgent in ways, of course, but more wallowing in pathetic misery of writing). I want to do other things, but keep being drawn to that; that's what I meant in the original post by "picking at the same wound".

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

it's an unhealthy focus.

Right. I see.

Because *I* don't write, I just type, and the texts are always better. My own self-indulgent crap comes from *me*; pure muse doesn't. It just flows. It's like we mean the exact opposites.

Okay, switch the words then. I probably shouldn't ever use the word 'muse' because I mistrust it. I agree that the best writing comes from that sensation of 'just typing'; which is why people who say "you just have to keep on doing it, work harder" either don't know what they're talking about, or write very differently than I do. Probably the latter.

What I meant is angst, torture; *contents* I don't enjoy writing, that Cat doesn't enjoy reading.

I see. Yes, I thought you meant... poor quality. (That which I have never seen from you.) Is it just... subjectively difficult for you and Cat, because of its nature, or something that would make any reader cringe? If it's just a subjective thing, I can't see that it's bad in any wider sense: other readers might appreciate it and enjoy its darkness.

What I meant is angst, torture; *contents* I don't enjoy writing, that Cat doesn't enjoy reading.

Do you really actively want to do something else, or are you just reacting viscerally to the painfulness of the theme?

[sparklebutch.livejournal.com]

or something that would make any reader cringe

Subjective. You'd be amazed what some people read. Me, I like peaceful, understated, and happy. I write much worse than that. Also I can take a lot more, when reading, than Cat - she really doesn't like the dark. She says I shouldn't consider that, but I do.

Do you really actively want

Ugh, I don't know anymore. This whole thing is so self-involved.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Me, I like peaceful, understated, and happy. I write much worse than that. Also I can take a lot more, when reading, than Cat - she really doesn't like the dark.

Yeah. I can never really predict what I can take, and most of the time it's a matter of tone rather than content. So how to judge? I have to do it on a case to case basis. Because I like your style, I could probably handle more darkness than with another writer. But it's fairly complex, and not predictable.