sparklebutch | I share thought process

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ethan,
writing

I share thought process

I'm writing the prompts, I'm writing.

I do have a problem though. Some of the ones I got from the meme, plus some of the ones I get from my usual prompts community, they all lead me in one direction. Keep picking at the same wound.

With that, I have two problems. A, just how many times can I write the same basic story obsessively before everyone is sick and tired of it, and B, well, some of the things would be perfect for happy smut, and all I get is torture and torment and lack of joy. Which would probably bring... sharper reactions in readers, maybe, but, I don't *want* to write misery.

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just how many times can I write the same basic story obsessively before everyone is sick and tired of it

Infinitely?

No, really, you as writer may get tired of a theme which we as readers never do. Putting this in another context, look at the way people will read novels by authors who never, ever vary their formula or their content. They read them because they like the subject, the approach, the style,whatever.

And I've never seen you write exactly the same thing twice. There's always a new twist or insight or viewpoint.

some of the things would be perfect for happy smut, and all I get is torture and torment and lack of joy. Which would probably bring... sharper reactions in readers, maybe, but, I don't *want* to write misery.

All you get - from your own imagination, you mean? I'm not sure how to answer that, but I think (speaking for my own approach to writing) that what I want to write consciously and what I do write are different things because the muse lives in the subconscious and doesn't give a damn what I want: writing what I want to write would not only be the easy way out, it would probably be impossible because it would never be good. It would never be where my passions or compulsions lie - whether I'm aware of that or not.

These are probably not the answers you want to hear, assuming that you want to hear replies and weren't just asking rhetorically.

look at the way people will read novels by authors who

...Are utter crap. Looking at some of the stuff that gets published - that gets *praised* - ugh. That's no way for me to learn to write better. More sellable, maybe, but not better.

All you get - from your own imagination, you mean?

Muse is very... harping on an issue. Now, he has a right to, don't get me wrong. But every single prompt I see leads me that way.

I wrote from pure muse flow, which is best for me, and I also wrote with no inspiration whatsoever, and it seems most readers can't really tell the difference. I can fake it pretty well. I just don't enjoy it as much. On the other hand, if I write stuff that makes me shudder, or makes my beta cringe to read... sigh.

And thanks for all the compliments on the way, dear.

every single prompt I see leads me that way

I see that as a strength, not a weakness. It's your voice, your approach.

I just don't enjoy it as much.

Hmm. Yes. Inspiration is better. And pure muse flow without inspiration (or intellectual input) can simply produce self-indulgent crap, which, I may add, I've never seen from you (tho' I haven't read all your work), and which I have seen from many a fanfic writer, more's the pity. But. Better to do it than not, if that's the only option offered. If you can't write on your chosen terms, write on any terms you can.

if I write stuff that makes me shudder, or makes my beta cringe to read... sigh.

Be glad you gave the intelligence and discrimination to know the difference. When I write that sort of thing it goes into my trash-bin pretty quickly, and I hope no one ever guesses at how bad my writing can be.

I don't think we're talking about the same things at all. I can't at this moment, but I will try to explain later.

Okay.

I see that as a strength, not a weakness. It's your voice, your approach.

This isn't my voice; this isn't my approach. This isn't a weakness or strength, it's an unhealthy focus.

pure muse flow without inspiration (or intellectual input) can simply produce self-indulgent crap

I don't think we mean the same thing. For me, "pure muse flow" produces the best writing. Because *I* don't write, I just type, and the texts are always better. My own self-indulgent crap comes from *me*; pure muse doesn't. It just flows. It's like we mean the exact opposites.

I haven't been able to make myself clear in this post, it seems, and not just with you.

Better to do it than not, if that's the only option offered. If you can't write on your chosen terms, write on any terms you can.

This muse thing, to me, is the *best* option. It's not my chosen terms, but I don't care about my terms, because I enjoy the process in various ways, and I enjoy reading the final product. I enjoy the words.

What I do when I can't get into this state, is I try to write on my own. Like I said, many can't tell the differences in the end results. *I* can. I still write because, like you said, better than not writing at all.

When I write that sort of thing

Again, we have a miscommunication. By "stuff that makes me shudder, or makes my beta cringe", I didn't mean bad quality. I do have bad quality things, but that's not it. What I meant is angst, torture; *contents* I don't enjoy writing, that Cat doesn't enjoy reading. Specifically, at the moment, a kind of dark writing that is related to one or two events in Buffy (that I won't share here with you, of course).

The prompts, and my mood, lead me to write about it (self-indulgent in ways, of course, but more wallowing in pathetic misery of writing). I want to do other things, but keep being drawn to that; that's what I meant in the original post by "picking at the same wound".

it's an unhealthy focus.

Right. I see.

Because *I* don't write, I just type, and the texts are always better. My own self-indulgent crap comes from *me*; pure muse doesn't. It just flows. It's like we mean the exact opposites.

Okay, switch the words then. I probably shouldn't ever use the word 'muse' because I mistrust it. I agree that the best writing comes from that sensation of 'just typing'; which is why people who say "you just have to keep on doing it, work harder" either don't know what they're talking about, or write very differently than I do. Probably the latter.

What I meant is angst, torture; *contents* I don't enjoy writing, that Cat doesn't enjoy reading.

I see. Yes, I thought you meant... poor quality. (That which I have never seen from you.) Is it just... subjectively difficult for you and Cat, because of its nature, or something that would make any reader cringe? If it's just a subjective thing, I can't see that it's bad in any wider sense: other readers might appreciate it and enjoy its darkness.

What I meant is angst, torture; *contents* I don't enjoy writing, that Cat doesn't enjoy reading.

Do you really actively want to do something else, or are you just reacting viscerally to the painfulness of the theme?

or something that would make any reader cringe

Subjective. You'd be amazed what some people read. Me, I like peaceful, understated, and happy. I write much worse than that. Also I can take a lot more, when reading, than Cat - she really doesn't like the dark. She says I shouldn't consider that, but I do.

Do you really actively want

Ugh, I don't know anymore. This whole thing is so self-involved.

Me, I like peaceful, understated, and happy. I write much worse than that. Also I can take a lot more, when reading, than Cat - she really doesn't like the dark.

Yeah. I can never really predict what I can take, and most of the time it's a matter of tone rather than content. So how to judge? I have to do it on a case to case basis. Because I like your style, I could probably handle more darkness than with another writer. But it's fairly complex, and not predictable.

Hmmm. If you feel like you're retreading the same ground, you could challenge yourself to look at it from a new direction, try a different angle. Sometimes very artificial limitations can get my creative juices flowing: all dialog, no tags, no names, having a character do something completely out of character and figuring out why it's in character for them. Exercises for the brain, creativity, and communicative facility.

I generally find the only writing of mine that I truly dislike are the times when I've tried to force a story to go a direction contrary to its nature. If what I've got are torture and torment, that's what I dish out. Doesn't mean I have to write it, but trying to sculpt that piece of mental wood into something that's not in there just gets me one ugly-ass piece of scrap wood.

Maybe it's different for you. *shrugs*

That's why I played that game, to get pushes in new directions. That Tessa thing? I never wrote Tessa before. That was cool. I also rarely write Silas, for example. Not to mention I just haven't written HL in ages other than those lame drabbles. I ask for challenges all the time; I used to ask for such complex prompts and challenges, you wouldn't believe. I just feel so blah right now.

It is very similar for me. I just had a bad couple-of-months when it comes to certain muses.

While you tend to write characters who lean toward angst, all characters have happy points in their lives, maybe try writing from that time in their lives?

...Uh..

Yes, I do and have written happy points. My characters aren't that big on angst. My problem is *currently* with one certain event that I keep focusing on, and the problem isn't that I *want* to focus on it, it's that it's brought into focus.

I'm not sure how much your read here, or what's your spoiler policy, so I will spare you the details. Let me just say I have written quite a lot around that event in recent weeks, angsty and happy, and my problem right now is that all the prompts I'm given take me back to it, rather than send me away.

I gather that you're talking about the Buffy comic spoiler about your favorite character? I don't read the comics so spoiling me is not a big thing. In fact, I have a fascination with spoilers from fandoms I've either been in or am on the fringes of. (Wow, do I know so much about Dr. Who and Torchwood, despite only being a Sarah Jane Adventures fan...)

I also gather spoilers and usually seem to know much about what's going on in things I don't follow, which is why this was an even bigger shock to find no one told me - even after I heard about it and looked, it seemed not many in general bothered discussing it.

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