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sparklebutchTitle: Crack Candy
Fandoms: Highlander, Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Other
Reason: Challenge
Form: Snippets of various sizes
#1 ["Rodents of unusual size" - from the challenge, 43 words]
"These are.. rodents of unusual size," Methos said, disturbed.
Kronos nodded. "They'll spread the plague much faster, don't you think?"
Methos wrinkled his nose, and in the cages, a giant ratty creature did the same. "Brother, you have been smoking the wrong crack."
#2 ["Small bitey lizard" requested by Fledge, dinosaurs from Fledge, Wash and the challenge, 108 words]
"Ow."
Methos swallowed back the curses and suckled on his bleeding finger, glaring at the small lizard Kronos now was. Apparently the transformation did not improve the Horseman's mood and disposition in the slightest. He'd decided to not lock Kronos in a cage, but instead let him roam free around the house, because, how much damage could the man cause in this condition? Bandaging his sore digit, Methos decided that he may have underestimated the reptilian Kronos.
Through the window, the giant head of Silas peeked in. Methos wondered how long it will be before the neighbours call the police and report a T-Rex in the back yard.
#3 [Tentas, definitely from Fledge, also vaguely mentioned in challenge, 78 words]
"With the tenta here, and the tenta there, tentacles just everywhere..."
"Shut up."
"Oh, come on. Have some humour."
"I'll have some humour when I have some sushi."
"...You're disgusting."
"We're trapped in the tentacles of an alien monster who is violating our chastity again and again. What are you so cheerful about?"
"Well, we are trapped in the tentacles of an alien monster who is violating our chastity again and again!"
"...Should've known better than to ask."
#4 [Bunnies, must be. Mentioned in the challenge, 75 words]
"Just go to a good visual place. Imagine having strength. Imagine conquering your worst enemy."
Anya closed her eyes, and pictured it. She, in a Xena-like outfit - but with less emphasis on the breasts and a bit more on the legs - leading the army of submissive, obedient bunnies. Millions of them behind her, ready to swarm and destroy her enemies at her command. She was Queen of the Bunnies. Vengeance will be hers.
#5 [Gnomes, for the challenge, 164 words]
"This is by the far the worst curse ever." Cordelia was unhappy, and under normal circumstances that would make the men around her shiver, but they couldn't quite control their muscles enough for that.
"I was a puppet," Angel muttered petulantly.
"You were a mobile puppet," Wes hurried to remind him, "and you were indoors and had the help of your friends. What we are now..."
"Is gnomes!" Cordy's voice rose high.
"I know." Angel ranted.
"Garden gnomes!"
"I know," Angel whined.
"Stuck in the hotel's garden until someone finds us and chants this stupid spell backwards!" She was just getting warmed up. "And it's raining!"
"We're all in the same situation as you, Cordelia." Wesley still had patience, which was a rather impressive feat on his part, he thought.
*plop*
There was silence, frozen silence, the kind of silence right before a violent thunder, or a war.
"Did a bird just poop on me?" Cordelia asked in a very quiet, very frightening tone.
#6 [Elephants, challenge, 100 words]
Mal was waiting for the backup that would mean the Independents would win this war. Serenity valley, filled with fire and blood and the screams of pain, was going to be the site of their glorious victory. He held morale, helped the soldiers around him. Any minute now.
He heard the rumble. Looked up, hope swelling in his heart. It was gonna be their day.
That's why they were called Independents. Their free thinking is what brought them to this moment. And as the herd of elephants squashed the Alliance forces, trumpeting loudly, Mal found himself cheering wildly in response.
#7 [Challenge specified "weird simians" and "monkeys" so I... yeah. 112 words]
"Weird Ape-Man gone wrong thing...
Simon examines Jayne, and Jayne scratches himself. He murrs, a small sad sound only monkeys make. Sounds like "murr".
"Give him something to eat... Don't suppose we have fresh bananas on board?"
Kaylee moans, the thought of fresh fruit making her salivate. But there isn't any around. Wash set course to take them to the nearest tropical planetoid, but it will be at least hours until they get there, if nothing goes wrong. And countin' on nothing to go wrong is really not in accordance with the rest of this day. Jayne climbs to sit fully on the gurney, and starts searching for fleas in Simon's hair.
I'll end here.
Might be more to come.
Fandoms: Highlander, Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Other
Reason: Challenge
Form: Snippets of various sizes
#1 ["Rodents of unusual size" - from the challenge, 43 words]
"These are.. rodents of unusual size," Methos said, disturbed.
Kronos nodded. "They'll spread the plague much faster, don't you think?"
Methos wrinkled his nose, and in the cages, a giant ratty creature did the same. "Brother, you have been smoking the wrong crack."
#2 ["Small bitey lizard" requested by Fledge, dinosaurs from Fledge, Wash and the challenge, 108 words]
"Ow."
Methos swallowed back the curses and suckled on his bleeding finger, glaring at the small lizard Kronos now was. Apparently the transformation did not improve the Horseman's mood and disposition in the slightest. He'd decided to not lock Kronos in a cage, but instead let him roam free around the house, because, how much damage could the man cause in this condition? Bandaging his sore digit, Methos decided that he may have underestimated the reptilian Kronos.
Through the window, the giant head of Silas peeked in. Methos wondered how long it will be before the neighbours call the police and report a T-Rex in the back yard.
#3 [Tentas, definitely from Fledge, also vaguely mentioned in challenge, 78 words]
"With the tenta here, and the tenta there, tentacles just everywhere..."
"Shut up."
"Oh, come on. Have some humour."
"I'll have some humour when I have some sushi."
"...You're disgusting."
"We're trapped in the tentacles of an alien monster who is violating our chastity again and again. What are you so cheerful about?"
"Well, we are trapped in the tentacles of an alien monster who is violating our chastity again and again!"
"...Should've known better than to ask."
#4 [Bunnies, must be. Mentioned in the challenge, 75 words]
"Just go to a good visual place. Imagine having strength. Imagine conquering your worst enemy."
Anya closed her eyes, and pictured it. She, in a Xena-like outfit - but with less emphasis on the breasts and a bit more on the legs - leading the army of submissive, obedient bunnies. Millions of them behind her, ready to swarm and destroy her enemies at her command. She was Queen of the Bunnies. Vengeance will be hers.
#5 [Gnomes, for the challenge, 164 words]
"This is by the far the worst curse ever." Cordelia was unhappy, and under normal circumstances that would make the men around her shiver, but they couldn't quite control their muscles enough for that.
"I was a puppet," Angel muttered petulantly.
"You were a mobile puppet," Wes hurried to remind him, "and you were indoors and had the help of your friends. What we are now..."
"Is gnomes!" Cordy's voice rose high.
"I know." Angel ranted.
"Garden gnomes!"
"I know," Angel whined.
"Stuck in the hotel's garden until someone finds us and chants this stupid spell backwards!" She was just getting warmed up. "And it's raining!"
"We're all in the same situation as you, Cordelia." Wesley still had patience, which was a rather impressive feat on his part, he thought.
*plop*
There was silence, frozen silence, the kind of silence right before a violent thunder, or a war.
"Did a bird just poop on me?" Cordelia asked in a very quiet, very frightening tone.
#6 [Elephants, challenge, 100 words]
Mal was waiting for the backup that would mean the Independents would win this war. Serenity valley, filled with fire and blood and the screams of pain, was going to be the site of their glorious victory. He held morale, helped the soldiers around him. Any minute now.
He heard the rumble. Looked up, hope swelling in his heart. It was gonna be their day.
That's why they were called Independents. Their free thinking is what brought them to this moment. And as the herd of elephants squashed the Alliance forces, trumpeting loudly, Mal found himself cheering wildly in response.
#7 [Challenge specified "weird simians" and "monkeys" so I... yeah. 112 words]
"Weird Ape-Man gone wrong thing...
Simon examines Jayne, and Jayne scratches himself. He murrs, a small sad sound only monkeys make. Sounds like "murr".
"Give him something to eat... Don't suppose we have fresh bananas on board?"
Kaylee moans, the thought of fresh fruit making her salivate. But there isn't any around. Wash set course to take them to the nearest tropical planetoid, but it will be at least hours until they get there, if nothing goes wrong. And countin' on nothing to go wrong is really not in accordance with the rest of this day. Jayne climbs to sit fully on the gurney, and starts searching for fleas in Simon's hair.
I'll end here.
Might be more to come.
